Let Them Go

I have hard time letting go of relationships…especially romantic relationships.

And I’m not the only one. I know of countless women who stick around, hoping that the object of their affection eventually gets their ish together and falls madly in love with them. Mind you, the signs are there; he doesn’t communicate consistently; he isn’t interested in your life or he flat out tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, yet you refuse to let him go.

He’s just not that into you! 

Or maybe the man has left you and has a new girlfriend or even a new wife. He’s clearly moved on to another relationship but you’re still stuck in the past, hoping and praying he’ll come back to you.

He’s not coming back!

Or you could be like I was, in a toxic relationship where you aren’t valued or treated like you deserve, but you still hold on even though it’s literally sucking the life out of you.

He’s not good for you!

Why do we women hold on to dysfunctional relationships?  Why do we sit with and nurse pain? I believe it’s partly because innately we are nurturers. We naturally pour into and feed the lives of others. We resuscitate things that we should allow to die.

We’re also taught to never to give up but to persevere during tough times, but no one teaches us that it’s OK to call it quits sometimes. When you’ve done all you can and nothing changes…. and your heart is being broken over and over again, it’s time to let go.

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Most often though, it’s not even the person we’re having difficulty letting go of but the memories we shared with them. We get stuck in the past and refuse to accept that all we invested, (the time, the energy and the emotions) is now gone.

Or perhaps we can’t let go of the future we envisioned with them. We had an idea of what our life would look like and now they’re gone, how do we even start over?  We’ve attached our happiness to them and it’s hard to let go of happiness.

But I think the root cause of not being able to let go is that we don’t trust life and that it is good to us. We don’t believe that even though it might not look or feel like it, God is working everything out for our good and if that person was meant to be in our life, they would be.

But refusing to let go only keeps you stuck in your place of pain and lack. You aren’t able to receive the new and often times better opportunities coming your way.  So why not accept what’s happened, let them go and make room for your new blessings!!!

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